I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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