He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
