If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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