Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
