she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
