guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
