New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize