I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
