I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
