also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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