i can't believe i had my finger in that
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
