Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I am available for nakedness
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
