The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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