Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
