its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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