They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize