This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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