i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
