just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
