We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
