Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
