Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
