FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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