Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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