I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
