We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
