I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
