You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
