i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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