mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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