The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
