I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
