If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My bed smells like the plague
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
