normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
