Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
