i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
