Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
