Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And then he peed in my hair
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