You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize