Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
