I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
