No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
