whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
