I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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