i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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