can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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