Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize