I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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