I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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