Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize