My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
wow bdsm is so cute
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
