I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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