I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
