That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
