I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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