Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
