I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
