You work out of a Hotel?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
